With this simple advice, learn to raise your kids to have a high level of emotional intelligence – something that might just be even more important than their IQ. Why? “When our children experience strong emotions, it is an opportunity to connect with them. We can help them by offering language to label their feelings and needs so they are better able to communicate them in the future.” When you raise your kids to be strong, emotional humans – they will always get through life better. They will be able to navigate life with much more security and with purpose and intention because they won’t be constantly second-guessing their worth and their intentions.
“They say adults who have high emotional intelligence have better relationships, are more productive at work, and have an overall better quality of life.” This all starts when you are in childhood and so if you want to raise your kids to have high emotional intelligence so that they succeed at greater things in life, start by teaching them how to have strong emotional intelligence from a young age. “Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist at Columbia University – and mom who has road tested this stuff – says that to raise a child with high emotional intelligence you need to do four things: Make them feel secure when they’re babies, let them feel feelings, problem solve instead of punish, and constantly be empathizing.” Let’s delve into a few of these things now so that we can uncover what it takes to raise your kids to develop a high emotional intelligence. Why? “What most parents don’t understand is that EQ is much more important to your child’s success in life than IQ,” says Markham. Emotional intelligence is important to success – vital to success.
Mantra #1: Unconditional love.
Love your child regardless of what they do or what happens. “No matter what emotions she needs to express, I love her just the same. My love and support is unconditional.” Always realize that your love is the most important love in a child’s life. Let them realize that they can go out and make mistakes and take risks and experiment, and that you will still love them regardless. Unconditional love is something that is incredibly important in the relationship between a child and their parent because it is the one love that cannot be affected or impacted by low self-esteem or a bad day. Unconditional love is just that: unconditional. It is the crutch your child needs throughout their turbulent adolescence, and if they know they have that – they will be able to take more risks and try more challenges and push themselves even further towards success.
Mantra #2: No triggers.
“No matter how huge or long the tantrum, she cannot trigger me. I am there for her, solid, calm, validating her feelings and offering my support.” You are the adult in the parent-child relationship and you need to act like one. Sometimes it may be difficult to not react to things, but at the end of the day, to raise your kids well you need to put your own triggers and emotions aside and realize that they are the most important person in the room and so you cannot react to their bad behavior. Teach them by showing them that you will still love them but that when they try to get a raise of you it will not work. You cannot be broken because you are the parent.