You need to be able to recognize this sad and serious sign of a sick marriage before it becomes too late. In his above video, Courtship After Marriage: Be Ye Kind to One Another, Zig Ziglar discusses how to deal with major disagreements in a relationship. His most important piece of advice is to listen to your partner.
Ziglar asserts, “Not listening is the number one problem in families today.” When you do not listen, when you shut down in an argument or you do not pay attention in a simple conversation, you are not setting your marriage up for success. Ziglar cites surveys done that point to 98% as the number of women who “wished for more verbal closeness.” 98%! That means only 2% of women surveyed were happy with their level of verbal closeness in their marriage. Only 2% of women felt they did not need to be listened to even more. “The most frequently cited cause of women’s anger was, ’he doesn’t listen.’ 71% of the women surveyed had said they had given up… they’re not going to try to talk to him. He just won’t listen.” These numbers are insanely high. Communication is key in a successful relationship and listening is part of that communication.
When you stonewall, when you shut down in an argument, or when you do not pay attention to your partner – you are inadvertently telling them, by showing them, that you do not care. You are telling them you do not value their time. You are telling them you do not value their attention. “This is a sad and serious sign of a sick marriage. Fortunately, the illness need not be fatal.”